First Dates Suck

First Dates SuckThis is amazing and so true. From Paul’s Blog

“I often describe a first date as a combination of a job interview, riding a rollarcoaster and a trip to the dentist. After all, sometimes it’s successful, sometimes it’s thrilling and sometimes it’s just downright painful”

Mostly downright painful, for me at least. I find getting ready for a date is the most stressful thing I could go through.

“What should I wear?”

“What will we talk about?”

“What am I doing?”

By the time I’m supposed to be leaving, I’ve already sent a text cancelling the date. I truly cannot stand the anxiety!! I’d rather not go on traditional dates, can’t we just get drunk at my place? I’m stressed out thinking about it, and I don’t even have a date tonight. I’m better off getting to know a person slowly, and finding myself in a relationship later.

This way, there is no anxiety about getting ready, there is no stress about a dresscode, there are no worries about stalled conversation. There are no thrilling butterflies in my stomach, and there are no 3 am dances in the rain.

This makes me terribly sad and I feel that I’ve missed out on many enjoyable first dates, while I’m avoiding the bad ones.

**Off to the fruit market for more melons.

Reference: First Date Effect


12 thoughts on “First Dates Suck

  1. I can completely relate to the anxieties surrounding first dates! Who wants to be interviewed? Examined, like a piece of meat. I can usually tell within five minutes if the guy is interested in ME, not just what he can do to me. Ugh.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I HATE first dates as well, but for example if you see no future with the person you’re on a date with, make the best out of that date. Be silly, say stuff you wouldn’t normally say. Who cares! Since you can if there’s chemistry or not. I see it as free dinner and a movie. 😀


  3. After both of my divorces and even before them, I HATED dates. Formal, informal, they all sucked!

    I’d rather go out with a friend first (opposite sex type), and then decide if I wanted to see them, as an out-to-dinner thing “maybe” HUGE “maybe” afterwards.

    That actually is what worked for me, though it took awhile to figure it out, for us both and marriage number three lasted for over 20+ years. Why? I married my best friend. Worked for me.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. My wife of 16 yrs waited till 3 days aftrr her youngest child from her first marriage turned 18 to let me know she wanted a divorce. I was completely blindsided i asked her over and over if everything was ok she assured me it was for sixteen years. Seems she needed someone to pay the bills and raise her children and once the youngest was done my usefulness was over.

    So everyone said you just need to get out there and get “laid” sorry for the crassness of how itnwas said but thats basicly thier words. Except that i cant just jump into bed with someone i need to know them like them want them.
    So i Tried to date after but it feels so weird not even sure what to do went out with a lady who was apparently just using me for free food and drinks she would closed mouth kiss me when she left normally right after dinner and drinks but only if I asked.
    Then next person same thing.
    So I decided Im not dateable
    The closest thing to getting some was at a bar apparently i looked sad and lonely and this one lady came up and started to rub all over me and get really handze i was horrified

    And have since stopped even trying (well to be honest i have flirted with this one lady but its thru the internet not even sure she knows that I did it)
    I see people who I want to meet but don’t want to try because if i lived with someone for 16 years and didn’t see that i was being used and need friends to point out that my dates were doing about the same thing.

    I’m sure you are wondering why I’m posting this. Well I’m not sure but it feels right to say it here like it might help me.
    I’m not wanting sympathy or anything just wanted to put it out into the world because maybe it will help. And if it doesn’t well what have i lost?
    Special thanks to Skinny and single for the words she has shared on her many posts. They make me feel safe and that’s an amazing feeling something I have missed. Like a warm word hug.

    Liked by 1 person

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