An Experiment With My Insanity- Religious Fanatics

An Experiment With My Insanity - Religious FanaticsThe wonderful knock on the door, could be destiny, could be a shoe salesman, the possibilities are endless. Exciting isn’t it? That shoe guy might be hawt!

Of course, because life is just that good to me, it’s a religious fanatic trying to suck me in. That’s even more exciting than the shoe guy. (Has anyone asked themselves why there are door to door shoe salesman? No? It’s because I’m nuts. They don’t exist, but a girl can dream) Anyways, back to Jehovah Jack.

JJ: have you found Jesus?

Me: ya, he’s right here. Do you want me to get him for you?

JJ is silent, just the way we like em.

So ya, he’s currently in my closet, can someone help a girl?


26 thoughts on “An Experiment With My Insanity- Religious Fanatics

  1. I usually just tell them that I couldn’t be a “witness” ’cause I didn’t even see what happened.
    Then I chuckle and close the door on their puzzled faces.
    Been using that line for 20 years and it’s still funny, right? πŸ˜›

    Liked by 2 people

  2. When a religious fanatic knocks on my door, how I respond depends on what I’m doing at the moment. You see, my mother was a religious fanatic, who went from the Catholic Church to the Jehovah Witnesses when I was 12—about the time I turned away from all religions.

    My mother was about 50 then, and she lived to 89. When she died, she had about 30 different translations of the Bible that she had been studying for most of her life. She also had audio and video versions so when her eyes were tired of reading, she could watch and/or listen.

    Thanks to her, I know a little about what the Bible says and what it doesn’t and when I feel like engaging, I have always known more than the fanatics at my door.

    For a few years, a neighbor, who was one of those fanatics, lived next door. He made the mistake of preaching to me one time and never again. When we were done talking about two hours later, he admitted that I knew more about what the Bible said then he did. He never started a conversation with me again on this topic.

    I left all religions behind in the dust when I was 12. Maybe the best thing my mother did was leaving the Church for the Witnesses because that opened my eyes.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I love your humor and strength as a woman but have to say your response, while funny, is mute because not one of Jehovah’s Witnesses would ever ask you, “Have you found Jesus?”
    Just sayin’. πŸ˜‰
    It does seem like a sad commentary on our society, though, that someone who has a strong spiritual belief, that brings her/him happiness so he/she likes to share it, is now just classed as a fanatic.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I agree. It is a funny post. But in a time when people can’t even be bothered to go to the polls to vote for something they believe in, you have to respect their commitment. No need to try to make them appear less than human.


  4. “Oh, you must be here for our ad for a submissive sex slave. Great! Here put on this collar, I’ll go get the ball gag, brb.”

    That usually works pretty quickly.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. HAHAHA!! Just right up my alley, this one! If they ever ring my doorbell again whatsoever, stating, “We’d like to talk about God with you!” I might just reply, “And what has the mischief maker done now?”

    Another time, I was on the way home from a game when a drunk dude tried to talk about religion to me and the three other people sitting together. When asked which faith he belonged to, he replied, “I am a Roman Catholic!” Me, “Answer me one thing – if Catholics join a demonstration, are they Protestants then?” That shut him up for good.

    Liked by 1 person

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  7. OK I’m sold. You’re officially my kind of person and writer. Love this. I’ve always dreamed of answering the door with a cleaver, a pentagram emblazoned apron and an atomiser with essence of dead goat but have never had the courage. Until now.

    Liked by 1 person

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