Before I turn fifty, I have to accomplish these five things.
I want to sing to the crowd at karaoke. I’ve listened to their beautiful voices for years, it’s time I lowered the bar.
I want to sit in the parking lot at Seaworld or Marineland and tell people there are more compassionate things they could be doing with their time. I will want to kick them, but I won’t.
I need something published, on paper you can bury me with. I understand wanting to be buried with cheese, but I think the smell would get to me. The smell of paper would be a comfort as I rot in the ground.
I want to drop-kick a stupid bitch through the window because I’m sick of her laugh, her voice and her stupid nonsense that drives me bonkers. Oddly, this is no one and everyone, sometimes all at once.
Lastly, I just need to bang a guy on the swings. On the swings.
A bucket list I can actually complete, funny how I don’t have huge lofty dreams. Just a bang on the swings.